A Guide to Practicing Gender-Neutral Pronouns
For Well-Meaning Cis Friends and Family
I think this topic is always evolving. Also this article gives you access to other articles that may pique your interest.
– JE
It’s happened again: you’re home for the weekend, or the holidays, or just on a random Tuesday, and your uncle just wont stop accidentally misgendering you. You’ve chatted with him before, he says he doesn’t want to disrespect you, but he can’t wrap his head around gender-neutral pronouns. How can “they” refer to just one person, he asks? He just doesn’t get it! (Maybe you are that relative, and you’ve found your way to this article, in which case, welcome! This is a safe space for uncles who want to do better.)
Many trans people find ourselves caught between well-intentioned yet incredibly confused family members who claim they want to get it right and the sheer exhaustion of having to explain pronouns yet again. Even many MSNBC-viewing self-styled LGBTQ+ allies, as we can personally attest, struggle to use “they” correctly. But rehashing the same conversation about gender-neutral pronouns with the same people again and again can feel akin to Sisyphus pushing a boulder up the hill, only to have it roll down on top of you.
Credit: Samantha Allen and Quispe López